In the Hope4Men Work-Shop organized by SFF in association with Hridaya , one can witness many cases that make you wonder, like a husband facing fake/fabricated allegation by his wife that he dumped her for the reason that she was carrying a girl child.
But when child actually born it found the child is boy, not girl. Till date no court able to punish her for her such blind lie documented in women cell as well in court petitions.
|Hope for Men Work Shop , Delhi|
But the major problem had been witness, how Indian men facing extorting of money legally as well illegally start from wives, police, advocates and even by some court staffs also along with Fear of arrest, fear of losing Job.
Except money, money and money, everything else failed to make their wives happy.
Out of 200 cases, found only 3 cases where the wives had not demanded any money, rest all cases wives are openly demanding lacks of rupees in front of judge, police. But none had termed the same as extortion or blackmailing.
It reminds me the wonderful advertisement of Pay-Tm. The advertisement maker nicely captured, in India how from a child hood a men’s role had been defined as Provider to women irrespective of the women’s age, education or working status.
Story: The man is in a hurry, as he is getting late to work. But, his sister has to tie a Rakhi on his hand. The man, somehow, complete the ritual, and runs as fast as he can. The sister says, "Kaisa Bhai Hai?" (What type of a bother he is?)In the next few minutes, her mobile rings, and she sees the message that her brother had sent Rs. 2000 via PayTM. On receiving the message, she says: "Itna bura nahin hai" (He is not so bad), with sweet smile.
The advertisement done well impact to Indian , as that’s the mindset we live in, a man is provider and if he failed to do so, he will be termed as useless men. The same kind of mind set maximum women carry forward and imply to their boyfriends or husbands also.
Bottom line as long as men is provider and keeps paying your bills; he is not a bad guy. But for any reason he is unable to pay your bills or refuse to pay due to your wrong doing , the man will be termed as criminals, via various anti-men law like crpc125, molester, rape, wife beater, dowry seekers a long list of IPC.
We was having a balanced gender neutral maintenance / alimony law section 24 , but some Misandric mind set of law makers prefer to form another law called CRPC125 , with a intention to provide some interim relief to women and child ( forget the word Men) and the cap was Rs.500 per month. Then the same increased to Rs.1500 per month.
But the same cap now removed and made unlimited. Result the basic intention and purpose of law had been changed. In maximum cases in the name of Interim maintenance husband’s 30 to 50% income had been stanch way without considering the merit of case and then the case dragged years after years.
Maximum cases the wife’s earning, assets, ability to work, her education always ignored. So, without provide any support or care of husband, she is eligible to get lifelong maintenance in the name she got married.
When law was made there was a clause, if the women found lived in adultery the maintenance should be denied. But the same also tampered and the word “Lived” had been changed to “Living” by some crooked organizations and fooled the law makers.
The impact of a single word like change from “lived” to “living” leads to a situation where even you caught your wife red handed in adultery and then submits all evidence to court with a hope to get justice. But wife’s a simple word, I am not living in adultery and your entire defense have to go for a full toss and judge will happily throw your petition out of court.
Now the harassment does not end here, there are DomesticViolence act and there also the same principal of CRPC125 apply. Another law for women only (law makers again forget the word Men & Spouse) and the in the name of interim relief it continues without merit of cases.
So, the basic purpose of Interim relief had been abused and the chances of review of any wrong/biased order also had been stopped by HC /SC in various judgments, first pay then will hear your petition.
A gross abuse of the above law is evident from the courts room filed by various wives, against her husband. Even though the lady although working in —– has deliberately hidden this fact in the court case and has mentioned that she is not working or became Jobless and living permanently with her parents or relative, just to get maintenance from the courts from her husband.
Courts used to avoid making any effort to find her all assets/income/ITR details by using CRPC91 before passing any interim order.
Even a small child also will be finding difficult to justify such ideology: When a wife is not staying with her husband, she is not taking any responsibility of marriage, then how can she just sit idle and keep claim maintenance for life-long irrespective of her duration of marriage?
That’s the perfect reason many western country limited the alimony/maintenance linked for Limited time ( like for 3 years or 7 years) depend on duration of marriage. Un fortunately our Indian law makers failed to understand the same and keep making multiple laws and twisting the existing laws without put any long term vision or effect.
"What's sad that we even witness many lob less man who can’t find a suitable job is also forced to pay a woman who is working by taking loan or taking money from their age old parents," says Amit a 38 years guy of Delhi.
Amit is part of a growing movement pushing for changes to alimony laws via represent to member of government authorities, but till date going to deaf years.
He added , it’s time to make new single alimony law considering different types of alimony with varying durations, depending on length of marriage and the finances and assets of each spouse than continue with present multiple laws for a same relief.
Many Advocates for changing alimony laws argue that they need to be updated to reflect 21st-century marriages. They say that judges have too much discretion in divorce settlements and often order Husband (their only crime they earn well) to pay lifetime alimony to wives even if she is capable of supporting themselves.
"There need to be limits to the duration of alimony and caps on the amount you pay," says Mukul another Volunteers of SIFNetwork .Tom "You could be married at 25, divorced at 35 and spend the next 50 years paying alimony. There should be consistent treatment across the board where you can predict what's going to happen based on law, not a judge's arbitrary decision."
"In a country where there is lifetime alimony, there seems to be a presumption that the person who receives alimony never has any obligation to take care of herself — even if she is educated, healthy or even have past work history,” even some women like Shilpa added.
Number of times SIF network represented to various government authorities with suggestion to come out from Misandric mindset that let the man beg, borrow or steal, but it’s your responsibility to feed your wife rest of the life irrespective of any reason.
Summary of suggestions made:
1. The multiple maintenance claim to be stopped immediately as even a murder caused can’t be prosecuted by twice for a same offense.
2. The word husband/wife to be replaced by Spouse.
3. Interim maintenance to be caped and time limited instead of unlimited and drags for years after years.
4. The word “Living in adultery” to be replaced by Lived or living in adultery, as person can’t take advantages of her own wrong doing.
5. No one should be allowed to sit ideal, if they can’t find job, must be ordered to work at least 8 hours in a day for various social community service like many country have.
6. Government must allocate funds for destitute men or women at least for 3-years, where other partner can’t provide financial support.
7. Urgent need of Income Tax relief as paying alimony / maintenance is UN-avoidable expenses.
So, what are you’re thought regarding our Indian anti-men, Misandric multiple maintenance law like crpc125/Domestic Violence act / Section 24, would love to here in my comment section.