|Iswar Chandra Vidyasagar|
After meeting more than 6500 people in SIF and more than 250 Feminist, my only advice to all women who want a happy married life and their Husbands as equal partner in their life is - never ever use the word "mama's boy directly or indirectly to your Husband. The relationship between a Child and a mother in India is not made by any force or Law or by meeting on Facebook or at some pool party or by calculating the combination of beauty or brain.
You may get some success temporally to detach your husband from his parents and made him a "Joru-Ka- Gulam" but you had given him so much pain that he may not express the same by crying in front of you but he had already termed you a Happiness Killer in his life and will definitely outburst one day and then no Law of the land or your funded campaign on TV/movie/society will able to save your relationship. More than 90% relationship become soared as Women directly or indirectly indicates their Husband as a Mama's Boy.
In our school days many of us might have read the story of Ishwar Chandra Vidyasagar who took the initiative in proposing and pushing the Widow Remarriage Act XV of 1856 (26 July) in India.
But Vidaysagar was very fond of his mother and was very obedient of her. Once during his early education years, while he was staying and studying away from home, his mother asked him to come and visit her. When he arrived at the river bank, all the boatmen refused to cross the river because of an impending storm. Unable to persuade anyone as all the boatmen were afraid of the bad weather, he started swimming across the river. This anecdote of his life not only symbolizes his fearlessness and bravery but also his blind obedience to his mother whom he loved and revered very much.
Now in 21st century many bold women as well as many alpha men who claims to be icons of feminism and champions of women empowerment may term him as a "Mama's Boy "
Ramesh Singhinia 34, working in an MNC in Delhi as HR manager, had been continuously reminded to directly or indirectly that don't be a mama's boy by his self claimed bold/educated wife. Every effort had been made to detach him from his mother who lives in West Bengal along with her husband.
Mr. Singhinia had been termed as a spineless mama's boy when his wife wanted to wear a Bikini in a family function which was held in a Club. His mother advised his bold and educated wife not to do the same. Whatever love, care, gift, jewellery, cloths she had given to her daughter-in-law became immaterial and her such advice was termed as regressive and abusive. She was even termed as a criminal and dowry seeker under 498A.
Mr. Singhinia reached the Women cell, observed openly in front of DCP his 21st century bold educated wife demanding from him: "Your mum should not come to our home and you should not even keep any relation with your mother. It is too much to handle to your mother's all old fashioned advice/customs. Choose for yourself, you want your mother or me, your wife. If you can't detach yourself from your mother give me 75 lakhs by selling your home which is under joint name with your mother and I will agree for a divorce".
Mr. Singhinia refused to buckle under such blackmailing, result after one month 498A was registered and the case reached to a Delhi court. In front of the Judge the wife kept repeating the same demand. Surprised, even the Judge was silently observing the same without any reaction as recently Supreme Court of India told any absurd verbal allegations by Daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law first register the 498A FIR. Let the Trial court decide the allegations wrong or right, till then the mother have to live as a dowry seeker for next 10 to 12 years, but FIR should not be quashed on the ground of abuse the process of LAW.
Mr. Singhinia’s mother is not alone, many mothers had been already thrown out of their own house under DV act or living silently under the ill treatment by their daughters-in-law, but there is no law by which she can seek justice under present Domestic Violence act or 498A.
Now Mr. Singhinia joined SIF movement and decided to fight the case for Next 20 years in court, prefer to be a proud Mama's boy than a "Joru-Ka-Ghulam" and Mrs. Singhinia joined award winning Feminist group and nowadays teaching Indian men how to be a good life-partner like Savan Kumar who took his wife to London to see smile on her face.
Hope very soon the biography of Iswar Chandra Vidyasagar is also going to be out of our text book soon (the name and place had been changed to protect the victim's identity).